What would you do if your best friend asked you permission to date your ex
l dated a girl for a year who l honestly thought was my ''one''.We were
very close friends for a long while before we started dating, and were
both very comfortable with each other during the relationship.After a
year, she decided she felt l was not the ''one'' for her.Totally wrecked
me. About four months after this, as I am still bumming, but
coming out the other side of those feelings, my best friend asks me if l
mind if he and the ex (Who l maintained a friendship with) go out.l love him, and l love the girl, but what an absolutely hellish situation to be put in! l personally feel that he should have known better than to even ask, he should have presumed from the start that she was off limits.Barring that, she should have known better (remember, we stayed good friends) than to let this become a possibility.l gave him my blessing, but I've never totally gotten over his audacity in that moment.l feel l should have told him to jump off a cliff. What would you have done?
I was dating someone, & I thought that she was the one. So I
didn't worry about her not dating me anymore. She had took me on this trip
& during that week she broke up with me. That had totally destroyed me.
Not even a month after she broke up with me she had tries to date
my two best friends(me & my ex were still good friends). The first time I
said it was ok but I was totally crushed, mad & very depressed. I should've said no but I was being too nice & I should've said that it is not okay for them to do that, but I wanted them to be happy. The good news is 8 days later my best friend said that his friendship with me is more important so he is a true best friend. He hasn't spoke to her since. Then about 3 weeks later, me, my other best friend, & my ex are hanging out, & after she leaves & I leave my ex calls me & asked about 7 times if my best friend said anything about her. There I had gotten the hint that she liked my best friend, & I was right, but to add on to that, my best friend starts to like her. He asks me permission to date her later down the line(didnt specify how long down the line). I said I don't know really but I guess its ok when once again, im being a stupid idiot. What I shouldve said was that its NOT ok & that why would you even think that. You are my best friend so why would you do that to me. Well now on myspace I see bulletins that my ex posts, there all about him. That had happend today. To this day they are talking & both calling me & talking so the next time they call my cell, I am not picking up the phone I don't need this crap. I am about to cry & scream becasue I never thought that this would happen a SECOND time!!! So who is ever reading this PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not make the same mistake that I did. It will only mess you up like it did me. What would you have done or said?
the exact same thing you did,wish them well!
I would have gone with plan B and told him to jump off a cliff.
I think it is time for you to move on. Because people always
said that, 3 is a crowd. So you need to find someone else, try to find
that feeling again, when you meet a special girl & in ur heart you know
that she is the one.
But, if you can not accept what I just told you (to give up), then you
should pull yourself together & do whatever you have to do to get ur girl back (even the craziest things). Because if you really think that she is the one, then one day she is going to come back & find you again. If you believe in fate & you think that the girl is the ''one'' then never be afraid to lose her because she is not going anywhere.
personally i'd feel the same way as you did provided am still
head over heels in love with her. Deciding to let her go with a bestfriend
is harder than having seen her dating a stranger. However, it was right
that you gave ur blessings afterall no matter how much we want & love a
person but if the feeling is not mutual, we don't have any right to hold
them or refuse them to do what they wanna do with their own life. Hurts
but its the reality. You dont own her or ur bestfriend. Your bestfriend also showed his respect on ur friendship by having the decency to ask blessings from you. Have'nt you heard about people who ended up married to his/her ex is brother or sister? That can be worst,ryt? So let go.. give them the freedom to find new happiness just as they would wish for you.
If you don't feel comfortable with ur friend dating you ex yet,
then let the friend know how you feel. If I still had feelings for my ex &
was still not completely over him or had not moved on, I don't think I
would give my friend the okay. It is still a delicate moment & if you
don't feel comfortable with ur friend dating ur ex then let them know. If
ur friend is truly a friend then they will wait until you are completely
over ur ex. The friend should respect you & what you say. Good luck.
You did the right thing and should honor your friend for having
the brass cajones to ask you. If you can not let it go and grow from this
situation then you really need to look in side yourself and decide what
kind of man you want to be!
It sounds like these people are not really your friends.
Friends should realize that you are a human being with feelings and
friends should look out for you and do what they can to keep your feelings
from being hurt. These people are not doing that for you.
i would've said ''Watch out, she hits in her sleep.'' lol.
i'd be fine with it.i figure, once it is over, it is over. there is no
moping or even being remotely sad. when they say it is over, or i say it,
immediately i'm over it. i guess i'm just strange like that, but i'd just
make sure they both knew i was fine with it. you did a good think,
putting aside ur personal feelings for ur best friend, & that is part of
what being a real friend is. it is not always a good feeling, the things you do for a friend, but just remember that they'd do the same for you. finally, if you & her aren't going out anymore why is she off limits? you're not her guard anymore, she can do what she wants. & this is for everyone: EX'S ARE NOT OFF LIMITS. once you're done with us, we're FAIR GAME. just lettin' you know.
You did the right thing. You & this girl are not an item, you
have no right to hold her back from finding someone else. I realize it
hurts, but you too have to get on with ur life. Maybe being friends with
her now is not the best thing for you,, you need some time to heal, &
being around her isn't going to help. Your friend did want his hormones
led him to do, he is just following his instincts, as is she. I am sorry
you are hurt, but in the long run you were very adult in the situation, you should be proud of yourself, not feel like heading off that cliff.
if it has only been 4 months he shouldn't have ask, and you
shouldn't have told him yes, unless you meant it. The one good thing is
that he ask, so you can not fault him. If you told him the truth and he
had done it anyway you would have lost a friend.
unfortunately sometimes things dont work out the way we want.
but what makes you think you have the right to stand in the way of your
friends happiness. they had the decency to let you know. it is obvious
that you wont be getting back together so let them be happy and be happy
for them. it sounds harsh but really.. think about it.
well you arent with this person no more and she by all means is
not your ''property'' and you will have to get over her eventually so I say
what you did is right.
I would have given the friend permission also because that realationship
is in the past now.
but by all means tell the friend how you feel about them going out.
i will accept his permission..
God bless 'em both, but me first.
I hope I'd remember to say ''no''.
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